I got this note from a visitor who read my blog post yesterday.
I'd like to share a part of my reply to him...
"You Have A Choice. You Always Do.
There's an EASY choice. And a DIFFICULT one.
The easy choice is more attractive - because it's easy. Rationalize the problem. Convince yourself it's too big / deep seated / complex / expensive / time and effort intensive to solve by yourself. And then do nothing. Even accept the problem. And move on.
That's the easy choice.
Sometimes it's even the sensible choice, a way to survive with your sanity in a complicated world!
And then there's another choice. A DIFFICULT choice. Some would say a crazy choice.
That is: To NOT accept the situation. To decide to try and change it. To back that decision with action based on a plan. To refuse to accept defeat or failure - and do all that you can to improve the situation. Turn it into one you think will be better.
Sometimes life circumstances or personal experiences help make the choice.
For 7 years, I had observed, in helpless frustration, the unique stresses felt by families of children born with life threatening heart defects. The emotional ones, and the financial.
I distinctly recall the conversation that impacted my choice deeply. It was with the 26-year old father of a patient. He was a construction worker, had 3 children, and the youngest had a serious heart defect.
"Doctor, I have a choice," he said. "I can sell my house and what little else I have, and raise the money for my little boy's operation. I can do everything in my power to save him. But what will happen to the other 2 kids? I can't support them too. I don't know what to do! I can't choose between my children"
It's a terrible choice. One no parent should ever have to make. But it's a choice many hundred parents are forced to make. It's a unique social dimension of a complex problem I see in my professional life every day.
And yes, I too have a choice.
The EASY one is to turn away. Focus completely on the technical issues - and they are extremely challenging, difficult, intense. Heart surgery for children is a medical discipline involving an intricate combination of co-ordinated effort from a team of over 12 different specialists.
Pediatricians, cardiologists, surgeons, perfusionists, anesthetisiologists, intensivists, nurses, physiotherapists, nutritionists, rehabilitation experts, psychologists and many others are involved, skilled artists in this 'orchestra for life'.
As the person in charge of overseeing this multi-faceted 'joint venture', I have my hands full - and more.
But there's also another choice. The DIFFICULT one. At times, I'm convinced it's the insane one!
And that is to try and change the situation.
To help parents like the 26-year old father facing a Hobson's choice leading to a bleak future either way. And the hundreds of others who are in the same boat.
There are moments when the sheer magnitude of the problem appears paralyzing. In my home state of TN alone, there are an estimated 50,000 (yes, FIFTY thousand) children with one form of congenital heart defect or another. Every year, only around 2,000 of them receive some form of surgical treatment. The rest cannot afford the high cost.
It's at times like this, when I wonder "What can I do all alone to change this monstrous problem?", that I recall an ad I once saw on TV. It was about the "Power of One"
A dramatic pictorial ad rotating shots of the young boy holding up a tank at Tiananmen Square, Mahatma Gandhi leading a peaceful revolution that liberated a country, Mother Theresa holding a little abandoned baby and touching millions of lives "one at a time"
It helps me take heart. Gives me a jolt of encouragement. Boosts my confidence.
And with renewed vigor, I continue working on my plan to help one child with a congenital heart defect - and then one more... and another.
It's all I can do. But I choose to do it."